This will be your new name: Anugraha.
Anugraha means gratitude.
Gratitude is in essence the very foundation of religion. Gratitude is prayer. It is through gratitude that one becomes aware of the presence of god, not vice versa. People think that when they become aware of god they will feel very grateful towards him. That’s nonsense! It can’t happen that way. First you have to learn how to be grateful, only then can you become aware of the presence of god. Gratitude means that you have become aware of one thing: that the existence has done so much for you and you have not even thanked it. On the contrary you have been continuously complaining.
This is my experience here, working with thousands of sanyasins: you go on doing everything for them, but they don’t have any sense of gratitude. And every day I receive letters of complaint that this has not been done for them, that this should be done for them, that they are not being taken care of, that nobody is taking any note that they are here. But very rarely does anyone feel any gratitude. We have lost the very sense of gratefulness. So whatsoever happens to us we accept it as if we deserve it. We don’t deserve a thing! But we start taking everything for granted.
I am always surprised by the insensitivity of human beings. For a few people I have done so much for years but no sense of gratitude ever arises in them. And there seems to be no possibility that it will ever arise. And if whatsoever has been done for them is dropped, if something is no more done, then they are there immediately to make a complaint. They take it for granted, they think they have earned it, it has to be given to them.
A man has not earned anything. We have not earned these trees and these flowers and these birds and these stars and these mountains. This immensely beautiful existence has been given to us. Start feeling grateful for it.
It is not a question of to whom, that is not the point, it is irrelevant. Just start feeling grateful that you have been showered with so many gifts from some unknown energy, xyz, whatsoever it is. Call it god, or if that word annoys you then call it something else. But some unknown source has been showering its love on you. Start feeling grateful and very soon you will be connected with it and soon you will be bridged and more will start happening.
And you will be surprised that one cannot feel grateful enough. It is never enough because the existence goes on doing so much for you. We cannot repay it, but at least we can be thankful. That is prayer and that is Sannyas.